Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
