The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
