A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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