Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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