is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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