Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
