I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
