She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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