Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my shit smells like andre
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
