dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
