i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize