i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize