Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
