I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
