We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
