Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
