I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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