That's when you crack a 10am beer
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
