Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
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