oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
