At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
