Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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