Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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