There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
