After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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