He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Text me some of your sweat
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
