Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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