You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
