No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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