Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
