Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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