Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
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hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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