and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
