You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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