so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
A bitchslap is in order.
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