Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
