So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
