WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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