it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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