I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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