I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
