no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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