Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
