I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
