A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
