Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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