New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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