He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
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I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
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Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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