More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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