u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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