What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
