Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
