i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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