then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
