talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
