my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
