i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
