suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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