I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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