The maid of honor just puked.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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