life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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